this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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