He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
