Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
