haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
