I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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