Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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