somebody snuck up and got me drunk
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
