But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
COCAINE IS GR8
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
