Your mouth is God's brothel.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
