im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.