no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
