Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.