how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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