no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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