I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
