he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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