I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
