I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
