The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
