I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
