WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
