God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
PANTIES FOUND
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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