oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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