I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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