Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
