Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
