I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
