: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
