I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize