It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
