I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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