I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
