Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
