"it" just moved
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize