i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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