yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
