I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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