Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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