super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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