what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
