Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
