we're blogging at a bar
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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