you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
