I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
