half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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