I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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