worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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