We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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