I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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