you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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