her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
