I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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