I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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