Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
