he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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