I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
