Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
