we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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