I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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