dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
