Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
