3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
