Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
