Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
