I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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