Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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