At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
BRING THE BAGELS
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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