I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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