Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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