So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
