Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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